The Value of High-quality Questions Part 1
Dr. John Maxwell, the number one leadership expert in the world and our grand mentor in Maxwell Leadership (ML) outlines the value of high-quality questions in his book Good Leaders Ask Great Questions. They are:
- You only get answers to the questions you ask.
- Questions unlock and open doors that otherwise remain closed.
- Questions are the most effective means of connecting with people.
- Questions show humility.
- Questions help you to engage others in conversation.
- Questions allow us to build better ideas.
- Questions give us a different perspective.
- Questions challenge mind-sets and get you out of ruts.
Also, Socrates is reported to have said that the quality of a man’s life is directly proportional to the quality of questions they are willing to ask themselves. I would also like to add that the quality of a man’s life also depends on the quality of answers they provide to the questions they ask themselves.
Similarly, Tony Robbins, American author, coach, and speaker, is quoted as saying that quality questions create a quality life, and that successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.
Furthermore, Henri Arnold, an American Cartoonist, lends his voice, “A wise man questions himself; the fool, others.”
While the questions we ask others are helpful, often the questions we ask ourselves are even more valuable as they are likely to impact us the most. And they can be even more impactful if we muster the courage to ask ourselves those high-quality questions that strike at the root of the issue, and honestly provide the answers.
But this is not often the case. Many would rather blame everybody else: their God, their parents, their country, their primary school teacher (and they are now 40 years old!), the economy, lack of connection, their politicians, preachers, etc. rather than confront themselves with high quality, heart-searching questions that go to the root of their current situation, with implications for the future.
That leads us back to item 2 on John Maxwell’s list of the value of questions: Questions Unlock and Open Doors that Otherwise Remain Closed. This is illustrated by an incident that happened during the reign of Ben Hadad, king of Syria between 885 and 865 BC. He had besieged Samaria, the capital city of the northern kingdom of ancient Israel until the famine was so severe that women cooked and ate their own babies.
Outside the city gate were four lepers who were banished from the city because of their condition. They, too, were pining away with starvation. But they did what the people in the city did not do. They ask themselves a heart-searching question: “Why do we sit here until we die”?
Those in the city had resigned to fate; there was no way out, no other alternatives. At least, so they thought.
Hear the honest answer the lepers provided and the options it threw up: If we sit still we will die; If we say let us go into the city we shall die because there is famine in the city; but let us go to the Syrian army; if they kill us we won’t be worse off, but if they spare our lives we will live.
Then they got up and went to the camp of the Syrians. But when they got there they discovered there was nobody there. Most of our fears are unfounded.
And that opened a door to life that they did not know existed. Questions unlock and open doors that would otherwise remain closed.
They ate and were satisfied, and then sent messages to the city. That saved the rest of the population from certain death. You will find details of the story in 2 Kings 6 and 7.
You see, those who dare to ask themselves the tough questions of life, and are courageous enough to provide honest answers, invariably find their way out of darkness into light.
What kind of questions are you willing to ask yourself? Some are so afraid of the answers they would receive and the demand those answers would make that they are not willing to ask themselves the tough questions.
By the way, do you know how to ask high quality questions? I will come back to this in a future post.
You see, your life will never be better than the quality of questions you are willing to ask yourself. A simple question like the one the lepers asked themselves, if asked and answered with brutal honesty, can turn your life around forever.
Let me suggest a question to ask yourself: “What will become of me 5, 10, 15, or 20 years from now if I continue to live my life the way I am doing? And the simple honest answer to that can have a profound impact on your future.
If you are married and would like to improve your relationship with your spouse, then you may join us as we ask our guests who are outstanding couples questions so we can learn. View previous episodes here.
Be blessed.
