DIVORCE RATE AMONG PROJECT MANAGERS: SURPRISES
It is common knowledge that project managers are very busy people. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what impact the demands of their career may have on their marriages. So, I searched for divorce rate among project managers. I was surprised at what I found. Maybe you would be surprised too.
The first surprise was that there was no research or reliable statistics on the state of health of the marriages of project managers. Isn’t it interesting that project managers produce up to date and sophisticated status reports for their projects, complete with photos, tables, and charts, but have produced none concerning their marriages – the most significant of their relationships?
The second surprise was that until recently, nobody bothered to look closely at the way the work of project managers and project professionals may impact their families, if at all.
For example, Jun Liu and Sui Low reported that the work–family experiences of employees in the construction industry have largely been ignored by construction researchers. Nevertheless, it is widely acknowledged that project managers in the construction industry play a significant role in achieving project objectives.
They also reported acknowledgement that construction involves a demanding work environment with considerable potential to interfere with family life in the way of time, strain, and behavior. They, therefore, felt that it is important to understand the relationship between work and family life of construction project managers.
Finally, they reported that recent research suggested that the construction work environment has considerable potential to interfere with employees’ non-work lives in a negative way.
The third surprising fact is that most project managers and construction professionals struggle to cope.
For example, Nini Xia, Rui Zhong, Xueqing Wang, and Robert Tiong in their study found that project managers usually struggle in fulfilling demands coming from both family and work domains. Of course, this should be expected because, working in projects which are characterized by long working hours, inflexible schedules, and complex tasks, project managers are particularly likely to experience high levels of work-family conflict.
It, therefore, appears that project managers and professionals are forced to choose between career success and family success. That is, to choose between a failed marriage and successful career since, it seems, they cannot have both.
Perhaps, that is the dilemma (to choose between career success and family success) that globally acclaimed leadership expert, John Maxwell found himself in when he said, “I wanted to be successful, but I didn’t want to lose my family in the process. Anyone who neglects or abandons his family for fame, status or financial gain isn’t really successful.”
Project manager, project management professional, how about you?
The fourth surprise was that project management is not listed among the professions with the least rate of divorce. This should be expected. But the surprise is how people who are trained to communicate and manage relationships are not outstanding in their very significant relationship. We will discuss this in a follow-up essay.
So, faced with the lack or paucity of industry-specific data I had to rely on general American statistics as reported in Forbes Magazine. And here is what I found:
It appears that when it comes to marriage, experience is not the best teacher. The more tries one has at marriage, the worse he performs. Details will come in subsequent essays.
However, the most surprising finding to me is what is captured in the Chart of Contradictions below.
The Chart of Contradictions shows that whereas 7 in 10 of the people whose marriages failed blamed it on their ignorance of the realities of marriage (lack of knowledge about what marriage entails) just over 1 in 10 believe that lack of adequate premarital education had anything to do with it.
That is, people believe that ignorance contributes to marital failure, but premarital education does not contribute to marital success. It is difficult to wrap your mind around that!
As contradictory as that is, it confirms my long-held suspicion: people generally think that marriage does not require formal premarital education. Has anyone heard of the school or college or university of marriage? Has anyone been requested to show a certificate from an approved school of marriage as proof of readiness or qualification or eligibility for marriage?
No, we are all expected to fumble and stumble and learn on the job while we deliver expert performance right off the bat! That is why we have those terrible statistics.
But you know that most senior project professionals complete 6 years of elementary school, 6 years of high school, and 4 or 5 years of university education – a total of 16 or 17 years to prepare for practice. They are even required to obtain additional professional certifications before being allowed to practice. But when it comes to marriage, something that can literally wipe you out, no preparatory training is required!
Think about it!
What are you going to do to avert disaster if you are already married? What are you doing to remedy the situation if your marriage is in the sick bay? And you who are preparing to get married, what are you going to do to have peace of mind so you can pursue your career?
I will present further analysis of the subject in the coming days.
Meanwhile, I will be interviewing professionals with outstanding marriages so we can all learn something to apply to our relationships right away.
Join me: https://bit.ly/ExceptionalCouples
